Bane Skies

Only One of Us Was Strong Enough

A Best Friend is the only guy I have ever had "a song" with... but he wasn't strong enough to handle the distance.

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on (go on)
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Enjoy your new life Brian.

Ring and Bracelette No Longer Bind Me

Mmm so I found out last week that Brian and I are no longer friends. Apparently that ship salied four years ago. I'm part of his closeted life and he is not ready to combine that with his non closeted life. I left, I went away so he had to find new people to confide in. Didn't realise that distance had anything to do with who you could confide in. Whatever, I am the person he has been the closest to in his life and to just throw that away because he came out of the closet is rediculous. Maybe he's just pissed because none of his boyfriends have been able to give him the emotional support I did. Maybe he knows that he will never get that kind of support from another guy and now he hates me for ever letting him know that that degree of emotional support exist. Whatever, I don't have the time or energy to figure it out. I'm not chasing him, that's something I stopped doing years ago and its not something I will resume. I've put myself through the ringer once for Brian, I won't do it again, especially when he doesn't want me to stand beside him. So now I'm bound to no one; the two men in my life that I thought would never abandon me have. So now, like the engagement ring from Jason, the family bracelette from Brian is in its box.

The Sting of Family

I called my fiance today after not hearing from him in several days - my suspicions were confirmed; his mom passed on Wednesday night. The funeral was today - I would have made the trip to Ohio, but I wasn't invited. Jason didn't know how to call me and tell me his mom had died but his family wasn't inviting me to the funeral. And this is supposedly a family to whom family is important - I guess future daughter-in-laws aren't family. It just pisses me off that I can't be there for my fiance when I should be. I'm just so tired of going round and round with his family and trying to be part of it.

Let's just say that in my mind, the guest list for our wedding has just been cut by 57 people.

Nostalgia?

I may be composing this for nothing, I doubt that anyone reads this, and that perhaps the one person who did continues to do so... but just in case;

Since I have no e-mail for you and there is no way to respond directly to your blog I am posting this here. I told you a year ago that I was happy for you - I meant that. I know everyone gives you a lot of shit for the things that have happened and that many do not encourage your choices - I know you were estactic to find out you were going to have a daughter and I know you will do the best you can for her. Now we both know I'm no wiz at math but I'm pretty sure Mackenzi has been born by now. None of us are perfect, no one is, but I know you will try to make Mac's life as perfect as you can. Enjoy marriage and enjoy your daughter.

My Own Little Bubble

You're Imaginary... You are so tired of all the
people and their shit, that you've decided to
live in your own world. Oh, and you make me
cry, literally.

Which one of my fav songs from Evanescence are you?
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What a Feeling!

You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.

What feeling do you represent?
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